Rating Your Importance?

I bought a devotional book from Focus on the Family called "Divinely Designed" as a resource for the book on womanhood that I'm writing. On page 12, I read, "What are your present roles as a woman (e.g., wife, employee, daughter, student, mother)? Rate each role in order of personal importance..." Boy did that burn me up!

I'm offended that a large Christian organization that's supposedly pro-family would include something like that in a devotional. Rank your roles?

Let me explain. Supposing I ranked my roles:
1. daughter of God
2. wife
3. mother
4. church member
5. business owner

What does that say to me? It says that if I'm not always happy with #1, then there's something wrong with me. What if I'm not enjoying my role as mother today? Then there's something wrong with me.

There is importance in knowing that our relationship with God take priority, then our relationship with our husband, then our relationships with our kids, and then our relationships with the church, then our relationships with everyone else. But knowing that we must place our husbands first is different than placing our "role" as wife first.

A "role" is a part we play. A job we perform. A relationship flexes and grows over time. Roles are a way for us to compartmentalize the things that we do. It's like pegging someone as "lazy" when they sleep all the time. Usually there's something else going on: depression, eating poorly, hormone imbalance, pregnancy, etc.

We hate being labeled as one thing or another. It limits us to those things only. Fulfilling "wifely duties" is one thing I do, but running a business to contribute to the family income is also part of that. If I didn't care for the kids, then I'd be a bad wife too. Sometimes being a good mom means that I need to go out with my friends even when my kids want me to stay home.

Labels separate us from who we are. We become a "role" instead of a whole person. Why would I want to partition myself off into a bit of this and a bit of that. Should the things that don't fit into categories be labeled as unimportant? I don't think so.

On page 27, the book lists a column of roles and another column of abilities. Readers are instructed to match roles with abilities. I think the point is that all of the abilities are needed for motherhood, making motherhood a difficult role. We're supposed to be able to find contentment in the most "important roles" only.

Well, you know what, I'm not content. I'll probably never be content. I always want something more out of my life. I want to be closer to the Lord. I want to have fun with my kids. I want them to grow up to be strong, wise, and Godly. I want to be close to my husband. I want to travel the world. I want to get out of debt.

And, I'm also content. I find peace when I rest in the Lord. I don't find contentment in my "roles", because there's always something I'd like to improve. I only find peace and contentment in Him.