"I Don't Deserve to Be Beautiful"
One of my friends wore a beautiful magenta dress. The color highlighted her skin and the style of the dress accented curves that she normally hid under sheath dresses. "You look beautiful," I told her. "You should wear more dresses like this one."
"My husband bought it for me," she said. "If you ever see me wearing a beautiful dress, he bought it for me. I don't feel feminine enough to wear something like this."
I have a lot of friends like her, and I know a lot of other Christian (and non-Christian) women like her. I too avoided femininity for years. I hid myself under baggy shirts and jeans 2 sizes too big. I pretended it was the style, but I did it because I was afraid of how I looked.
I don't remember any male in my family ever telling me I was beautiful. Perhaps my father did say it, but I don't remember. My husband encouraged me to buy beautiful and shapely clothes after we were married. He helps me to buy clothes that make me look good, and when we go to parties with friends, he says, "Why don't you wear that blue dress. I want to show you off."
Do you know how good that feels? The intense love I feel for my husband at that moment is incomparable. I stand taller; I put on a little extra makeup; I make sure I'm wearing tasteful jewelry. My husband changed me into the feminine woman I longed to be with words that showed that he knew he'd won a beauty and he wanted to show her off to the world.
He's doing the same thing for our girls. He tells them how beautiful they are. When they get dressed for church, I make sure to tell them, "Go ask your father how you look."
They go to their father and say, "How do I look, Daddy?"
"You look beautiful."
The girls beam with pride and happiness and dance on tiptoes out to the livingroom to practice their twirls.
Do you know a woman who lacks the outward signs of femininity? Perhaps she wears her hair in a convenient, but unattractive style. Does she wear dresses that look like sacks or clothes that hide her? It shows a lack of inner self-confidence. She needs encouragement.
God created women to be beautiful. Men have strength; we have beauty. We aren't meant to hide our beauty. We are commanded not to use it to manipulate men. As Alice Von Hildebrand says in The Privilege of Being a Woman, when a man calls a woman his mistress, it shows who is in control - the mistress. That's an abuse of power. Women (and men) should never abuse the power God gives them, but we are told that God gives only good gifts.
Encourage the broken woman, encourage her father, and encourage her spouse to tell her how beautiful she is. It will take time to heal the timidity, but gradually she'll blossom into the gorgeous woman she was created to be.
"My husband bought it for me," she said. "If you ever see me wearing a beautiful dress, he bought it for me. I don't feel feminine enough to wear something like this."
I have a lot of friends like her, and I know a lot of other Christian (and non-Christian) women like her. I too avoided femininity for years. I hid myself under baggy shirts and jeans 2 sizes too big. I pretended it was the style, but I did it because I was afraid of how I looked.
I don't remember any male in my family ever telling me I was beautiful. Perhaps my father did say it, but I don't remember. My husband encouraged me to buy beautiful and shapely clothes after we were married. He helps me to buy clothes that make me look good, and when we go to parties with friends, he says, "Why don't you wear that blue dress. I want to show you off."
Do you know how good that feels? The intense love I feel for my husband at that moment is incomparable. I stand taller; I put on a little extra makeup; I make sure I'm wearing tasteful jewelry. My husband changed me into the feminine woman I longed to be with words that showed that he knew he'd won a beauty and he wanted to show her off to the world.
He's doing the same thing for our girls. He tells them how beautiful they are. When they get dressed for church, I make sure to tell them, "Go ask your father how you look."
They go to their father and say, "How do I look, Daddy?"
"You look beautiful."
The girls beam with pride and happiness and dance on tiptoes out to the livingroom to practice their twirls.
Do you know a woman who lacks the outward signs of femininity? Perhaps she wears her hair in a convenient, but unattractive style. Does she wear dresses that look like sacks or clothes that hide her? It shows a lack of inner self-confidence. She needs encouragement.
God created women to be beautiful. Men have strength; we have beauty. We aren't meant to hide our beauty. We are commanded not to use it to manipulate men. As Alice Von Hildebrand says in The Privilege of Being a Woman, when a man calls a woman his mistress, it shows who is in control - the mistress. That's an abuse of power. Women (and men) should never abuse the power God gives them, but we are told that God gives only good gifts.
Encourage the broken woman, encourage her father, and encourage her spouse to tell her how beautiful she is. It will take time to heal the timidity, but gradually she'll blossom into the gorgeous woman she was created to be.
posted by Terri | 12:00 PM
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