So You Don't Feel Romantic
Developing romance with a spouse isn't about chocolate, flowers, or candlelight dinners (men, keep it coming anyway). It's about communion.
We women want to know that someone hears us and understands us. We want intimacy. We want a man to think we're so desirable that he would ride up on his quarterhorse, six-guns blazing, to save us from the bandits. We want a knight in shining armor who would be willing to rescue us from a fire-breathing dragon.
Why do you think we like the bad boys?
James Dean and other rebels intrigue us. We want a man who's not afraid to be a man. Too many "good boys" seem bland and tasteless. Like white bread or oatmeal, they're good for you, but lack appeal. Forget the whole "sensitive man" thing! Give me a man who joined his friends in a fight to defend his honor. Give me a man who stands up for what's right, no matter the cost.
Women, if you want a husband with a sense of adventure, but feel your husband is as interesting as cardboard, ask yourself what you're doing to help him. Loving someone, being in communion in a Godly way, means encouraging them to be who God wants them to be. God created men to seek adventure. Many men watch football, since they can't play it. They go hunting and bring home a deer. They run around the woods in camo and shoot each other with paint pellets. Do you encourage your husband's wildness? Do you give him free time with the guys?
It may sound a little weird, but when we were first married, my husband played paintball in the woods with a bunch of friends. He'd come home after 4 hours stinky, sweaty, and excited. He'd talk for hours about how he and his team planned an attack and snuck up on the other team from behind. He was so alive and exciting.
I think a big problem for many couples is domination. One or the other spouse tries to be on top. It's the old "do unto others" thing. You don't want to be controlled, so don't control him either. Marriage isn't about control. It's a partnership of two people working in unity. The world says that someone has to be in control. God says someone has to be the head. The difference is that the head takes the responsibility for final decisions when there are disagreements, but when a couple works in unity, they talk through the disagreements until there is unity. They pray to hear what God is saying so that unity preserved. Control is no longer an issue.
When your husband feels wild and free, when you feel united with him emotionally, and when you're working together in unity, flames of romance appear.
We women want to know that someone hears us and understands us. We want intimacy. We want a man to think we're so desirable that he would ride up on his quarterhorse, six-guns blazing, to save us from the bandits. We want a knight in shining armor who would be willing to rescue us from a fire-breathing dragon.
Why do you think we like the bad boys?
James Dean and other rebels intrigue us. We want a man who's not afraid to be a man. Too many "good boys" seem bland and tasteless. Like white bread or oatmeal, they're good for you, but lack appeal. Forget the whole "sensitive man" thing! Give me a man who joined his friends in a fight to defend his honor. Give me a man who stands up for what's right, no matter the cost.
Women, if you want a husband with a sense of adventure, but feel your husband is as interesting as cardboard, ask yourself what you're doing to help him. Loving someone, being in communion in a Godly way, means encouraging them to be who God wants them to be. God created men to seek adventure. Many men watch football, since they can't play it. They go hunting and bring home a deer. They run around the woods in camo and shoot each other with paint pellets. Do you encourage your husband's wildness? Do you give him free time with the guys?
It may sound a little weird, but when we were first married, my husband played paintball in the woods with a bunch of friends. He'd come home after 4 hours stinky, sweaty, and excited. He'd talk for hours about how he and his team planned an attack and snuck up on the other team from behind. He was so alive and exciting.
I think a big problem for many couples is domination. One or the other spouse tries to be on top. It's the old "do unto others" thing. You don't want to be controlled, so don't control him either. Marriage isn't about control. It's a partnership of two people working in unity. The world says that someone has to be in control. God says someone has to be the head. The difference is that the head takes the responsibility for final decisions when there are disagreements, but when a couple works in unity, they talk through the disagreements until there is unity. They pray to hear what God is saying so that unity preserved. Control is no longer an issue.
When your husband feels wild and free, when you feel united with him emotionally, and when you're working together in unity, flames of romance appear.
posted by Terri | 10:44 AM
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